THE GIRL I USED TO BE.

Monday, May 29, 2017



Photography : Ngash-Sage-Photography
Make up: Miss Wanjiru
Accessories: Shee-Art
A few months back, as I did my grocery shopping at the local market, I bumped into a friend and her sister. Inevitably we stopped and started talking (you know how women can strike up conversations anywhere). I was so caught up in the conversation that I didn't notice a drunk guy who had picked me as the target for his harassment. Long story short, I stood there completely speechless as he kept pushing me and saying all these things (in Kikuyu of course) that I can't remember.....I just froze. My friend and her sister were very verbal in their defense until he stopped and left us. Shortly after he left, I found myself again and I remember telling the ladies "Wow, I can't believe that it's still me inside because if this had happened to me one year before, 'he would have seen fire'."

That's exactly how I feel when I look at these pictures from 2015. That the girl in the pictures and the one making this post are so different. So much can change in such little time.
The exterior might be the same in some ways but my personality has changed so much ever since the pregnancy and  eventually the loss.

This girl was spontaneous,extremely naive.....probably because life had been so good to her though she didn't notice it at the time. The one making this post is so different. She isn't so spontaneous anymore, she always stops to think before doing things. Not because she is indecisive, but because she has learnt to prioritize things in her life. She won't put effort into things that won't make her happy. Child loss does that to you. It's a tough way to identify what's most important to you. You become more real with yourself in every decision you make.

She isn't so naive anymore. She knows how bad things can get in this world, she knows that not all people are kind....not all people wish her joy and happiness. She has no time for such people. That's the other thing with child loss. all the shallow and fake relationships crumble in the face of child loss. Only the most important people remain in your life. There is no faster way to lose your naivety than by having relationships tested and failed in a very short time. It makes you question everything.

One thing remains the same though. the dreams I had for the future and the vision I saw as I styled this outfit still burns fiercely inside me.



I still love this outfit. 

It actually fits into my current style very well. However, of all the items in this combination, only the sweater remains in my current wardrobe. It so happens that most of my pregnancy weight went to my hips and butt area (not forgetting the tummy as well). That rendered most of my pants useless, especially those that didn't have much room for expansion. As for the shirt, I couldn't button the last two buttons after pregnancy. Now it rests comfortably in my mums wardrobe, she is very fond of it by the way.
Don't get me started on the shoes. Let's just say that heels and I operate on parallel lines of late. In fact, the last time I wore heels was some time last year, probably to my cousin's wedding....and it was torture to my back and legs. I blame it on the extra weight and the CS surgery which left my back in poor shape. 

This hair was so fierce.....doesn't mean I'd try it again anytime soon. 







Thanks for stopping by loves, and for keeping up with the blog over the years.

Much Love,

Linet

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9 comments

  1. Welcome back girl and keep them inspiration coming.
    www.styleonadime.co.ke

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  2. Welcome back girl...it feels so good to see you here again.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks love. Feels good to be back.

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  3. I looove love the outfit, you looked (and still Look) dashing��

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  4. It's like reading my pregnancy weight gain story... I'm practically unrecognizable in my third trimester right now, but I find I like the curves..

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